Monthly Archives: June 2011


I hate them. They are everywhere. If you are blonde you are dumb. If you are black you like fried chicken. If you’re on any type of state assistance you are a pathetic waste of existence. If your kids are rowdy, you are a bad parent. If you cut someone off in traffic you are a jerk. I could go on and on. The older I get the less judgemental I am becoming. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around though. Either or, I’m finding myself increasingly patient, open-minded, and accepting. There are a few things I have yet to not judge, I am human after all.

One judgement I cannot escape….weight.

Oh weight. Why must you represent a person so much? Skinny people don’t eat enough. Fat people eat too much. Maybe that’s true 50% of the time, but not always. Maybe someone is skinny because they are battling cancer and they throw up daily from chemo and radiation treatments. Maybe someone is fat because they have to take steroids for a medical problem. There’s always a reason. Who are we to decide that reason? Being a thin person, it’s a stereotype that has haunted me for years and years and years.

Here’s what I hate hearing…”you can afford to eat that” when I pass up a piece of cake or chose to eat a salad instead of a burger. How come it isn’t considered that I am 115 pounds because I do pass over such luxury food selections? Instead, I’m skinny so I must have a great metabolism therefore I can eat anything and enjoy it. Uh…wrong. You. are. all. wrong. There was a time back in my childhood and teen years where that was the case. Here’s what’s changed.

1. I had two children

2. I have an on again off again overactive thyroid

3. I’ve aged and my metabolism has slowed down

Yet those things aren’t taken into consideration. Instead I get flack from my friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers for being this weight. I get judged and treated differently. I want to slap people in the face and tell them to stop judging me. Stop telling me I can eat the damn cake. I can’t. I gain weight just like everyone else does. However, I’m shallow in that sense and don’t want the weight. I fight against it. I don’t invite it in. I keep it as far away from me as possible. So when I say “no thank you”, don’t start with me. Don’t tell me I’m pretty and need to stop obsessing. Don’t tell me I’m lucky to be thin. It’s a daily battle. Daily. Literally every single day. I plan what to eat, I chose small portions, I eat based off of calories, I skip the junk foods I so crave, and I slowly resent everyone who judges me for it.

Everytime someone makes a remark about me saying no to certain foods, it only makes me want to make a remark about them saying yes to certain foods. That way, everyone can slowly but surely know how it feels. Instead of “no thank you” I should be saying “are you sure you want to eat that”. Let’s see how everyone else enjoys being critiqued for their food choices.

If you are one of the people guilty of judging me or anyone else based on their weight, stop. Please stop. It hurts us. I’m tired of being hurt because you don’t like the size I am and I am positive I’m not alone in that feeling.

Extreme Couponing.

It sounds like fun right? Dare I say even, easy? You watch the show (I don’t but it seems everyone else has). You desire to be that person. Who wouldn’t want to save that kind of moolah after all? Not to mention you get to be apart of an elite club almost, with an understanding and lingo only those exclusive to couponing can understand.

I coupon. I cut out and save the coupons of items we use. I always have. I always will. Then I use them. When Albertson’s has doublers, I use those. It is fun. I have a few blogs/email blast’s/facebook couponing pages I follow. I figure I save a few hundred dollars a year doing so. But I want to buy 100 items for only $5 too!

I’ve come to a conclusion. I will never be an extreme couponer. Yes, saving money is great. However, at the expense of my anxiety, not so great. I simply don’t have what it takes to argue with the store manager about their coupon policy while the people in line behind me huff and puff. This doesn’t bother many people. They don’t care what some stranger behind them thinks. Unfortunately, I do. I care what everyone thinks. Far too much. I have yet to grow the thick skin it takes in order to be this person. I think if I did it hands on with a pro I might have a chance, but that’s never going to happen either.

I’ve tried it. I’ve failed it. I’ve tried again. I’ve failed again. This doesn’t tell me to try harder. This tells me, give it up woman, it wasn’t meant to be!

So I’ll keep clipping and doubling. However, that’s the best I can do. I like keeping my blood pressure and heart rate at a normal pace.