Rules of life.

I know it may seem boring, but I truly wish (sometimes) we all had the same set of rules when it comes to this game we call life. One person can say something, and another takes it and hears something different. Perspective plays a much larger role than I think people take into consideration, myself included. A tone, a hidden meaning, an assumption. It makes for a lot of complications. We all want to master the art of communication, but I don’t think it’s achievable. Communication, in some fashion, is actually subjective. When you mix in everyone’s personal filter that is shaped by maturity, beliefs, and life experiences, there’s no way to fully understand everyone. Not even if you narrow it down to just loved ones.

Here’s one word that holds so much meaning, yet is perceived so differently.

Friendship.

To one person friendship might mean showing up at their house unexpectedly with a bottle of wine and box of kleenex when you know they’ve had a hard time. Another person might hate that and therefore never do it leaving the other person to feel as though their friend doesn’t care.

Another person might feel like friendship is showing up to all the other person’s life events. Birthdays, celebrations for work, baby shower’s, etc, so they attend every single event you make an invite for, maybe even more. However, you might find that stuff silly and therefore you don’t go to all of theirs. Again, they’ll think you don’t care.

Friendship means so much to me, yet I struggle to show it. I never thought I did but after being told so on more than one occasion, my ears finally opened. Sometimes you have to look inward in order to grow, as hard as it can be. (I also SUCK at apologies, but I can tell you about that later.)

To me, friendship means giving someone space when they’re having a hard time but randomly through our friendship letting people know I do care and would be there if they asked in hopes that if someone needed me, they would ask. Cause I’d be there.

To me, friendship is helping a friend move. Even if this is the 5th or 6th time I’ve helped this same person move, and I have to get a sitter for my kids, and I seriously hate moving people. Hahaha! But I love her, and she needs help (she even reached out to friends and asked…not her strongest suit) so I’ll be there. But seriously my firework, stop moving please lol!

To me, friendship is getting interested in my other friend’s hobbies. Not only is that something we can then share together, it gives me more insight to them as a person. I’ve learned so much by having an open mind in this area of my life, I’m always excited for another piece of this puzzle.

To me, friendship is answering the phone when my friends call…70% of the time. But since that used to be, like, 20%, I’d say I’m on the right track. Do I still watch my phone ring and follow it with a text along the lines of “what’s up?”??? Possibly. But it’s rare and always for a justified reason (okay, maybe not always). I’ve even practiced calling my friends just to say hi. It’s a learning process but I’m happy to do it, cause I love my friends.

To me, the definition of friendship is different than yours. Whoever you are. Because we all define it differently. What we need to work on is accepting each other’s definition and allowing for growth and grace. What hurts me might not hurt you, and vice verse. Let’s let go of any animosity and just love each other.

Lately, I’ve been surrounded by incredible people I learn from, get inspired by, and truly feel the warmth of their friendship. Thank you.

To all my friends past, present, and future… thank you for bringing me this far in life. I’m shaped by each of you. Let’s keep the adventures coming!

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A tribute to a few incredible people.

First of all, if we are friends, I love you. I love the people I let into my life with all I have (which may or may not be enough, too much, or just right). Seriously though, sometimes that love proves to be overwhelming, sometimes lacking. Either way, I promise you, it’s there. You mean a lot to me and I’m thankful to have you in my life. Thank you for the memories we’ve made, and the memories to come. My friends are always on my mind and in my heart. Friends are the family you choose.

With that said there are a few special people I want to give a shout out to. This goes with one of my goals, telling people how I feel about them. Definitely not my greatest strength, but over the past 2 years of working on it, I feel as though I’ve almost mastered it to the level of a 5-year-old lol. Here’s my public way of saying “I love you”.

In no particular order…

Amy. Thank you for the daily chats/emails/text’s/facebook wall posts. You have this amazing way to make me feel loved and special. It’s magnetic and I’ve learned so much from it. You are one of the closest people to my heart and I’m so happy to share secrets, joys, frustrations, and memories with you!

Desirae. The Hen is never the same without you. People watching with you may just be one of my all time favorite past times. Thank you for being in my life, and my children’s. I love spending time with you as friends, and as mom’s. You have more talents than anyone I know. There isn’t anything you can’t do and it inspires me!

Maria. Never in my life have I met someone with the magnitude of heart you possess. I’m blessed to be apart of it. I have told you since day one that you inspire me as a mother, child of God, and all around amazing person. I love the time I get to spend with you. I love knowing I will have you in my life forever. You are the most creative person I know and have the most infectious laugh. You are my soul sister!

Ok, ok, ok. I’m getting myself all teary-eyed and worked up. So that’s all for now before the water works begin and I can’t shut them off!

To all the ladies I mentioned, the one’s I didn’t, and of course my incredible guy friends who accept me as one of them…. I fucking love you ALL!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Roung peg. Square hole.

Story of my life. Nothing describes me better.

I don’t belong here. I don’t belong in this generation. I don’t belong with anyone.

But my kids belong to me, and I’ll never leave them by choice. In fact, I plan on fighting really hard to never leave them at all.

I wish, for once, to be somewhere or with someone or in a moment in time and know that I am right where I belong. That seems like a really peaceful feeling.

I try to accept this about myself and on most days I can. Today I can’t.

To begin again.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
– Anne Frank

When my kids are having a bad day, I tell them to start it over. It’s that simple. It’s never too late to shrug off your bad energy and start the day over. I truly believe in the power of a new beginning, even in the form of simply changing one day at a time. You have control of your life, the people you let into it, and your reactions to adversity and hard days. If there is anything I hope to teach my children, it’s that.

I feel like lately, I’ve started my life over.

New friends.

New job.

New attitude.

PostSecret

What a profound idea!

I’ve been religiously following PostSecret since I discovered it in 2007 and have not missed one single Sunday. I know every week I will cry. Sometimes from sadness, but sometimes for joy. I look for secrets in bookstores and have left a few myself. It’s incredible to be a part of a community where no one knows you, people know your secrets, and everyone accepts you. Each week I read the new secrets and there’s always something I can relate to, if not feel exactly the same as. PostSecret has saved lives, changed lives, and enriched lives. It’s a genius idea. Not only can you put your inner secrets out for the world to see, but you also have this incredible feeling of feeling less alone when you read someone else saying your same secret. It’s unbelievably moving. It can be pretty X-rated here and there, but one day I will share it with Savannah and it will be our thing, I hope at least. Here are a few random secrets, just in case you need a visual, or a reason to start reading them too!

 

The rules of the road.

As told my me.

The carpool lane is just that. There are times that it opens up to anyone, in some stretches of the freeway or highway. If it’s not during one of those times then back off my rear end! It’s not the super fast lane. It’s the carpool lane. How is this so confusing? I purposely stay out of the “fast lane” because I don’t want to speed. I do that out of respect for those who want to fly on by. Have the same respect people!

If you are a road bully, stop. It’s rude. It’s mean. If you are bullying me I will not speed up. In fact, I will slow down. Because I dislike you that much. Being a bully is not ok. Not at school. Not at work. And not on the road. If you don’t like my speed, go around.

If you are a pedestrian and in good physical shape, it would be very nice of you to walk at a speed faster than a snail when you are crossing the road. There are cars waiting on you. If you are texting and crossing a busy street at negative 5mph, get over yourself. Have some decency for the others out there trying to also get somewhere.

If you are in a car, honking at someone in a wheel chair that isn’t crossing fast enough for you, you should be ashamed of yourself. It makes me want to follow you to your destination, then hit you with my car when you get out.

If you are walking in a parking lot, remember to walk on the side, near the cars, or on the sidewalk. Walking directly down the center so cars can’t go around you is inconsiderate. I don’t care you are busy talking with your walking buddies. Or updating your facebook status. Why are people acting so entitled these days?!

If you are in one car, with your window down, talking to a person in another car, or even on foot, and cars are waiting for you to stop chatting so they can go, finish your conversation. Or pull over to the side. Again, entitled people thinking they are above common decency. Not cool.

Motorcyclists or bicyclists who don’t obey the rules of the road. Nuff said.

And last but not least. CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOT BEFORE CHANGING LANES! I’m very tired of almost being side swiped on (at least) a once a week basis. Sometimes my kids are in the car. It freaks us all out. One of these days I’m not going to be able to move over fast enough to avoid our collision. It’s not hard to do. You aren’t the only one on the road. Stop acting like it.

Can you guess what kind of day I have had?

My kids totally rock!

Jo brought home a letter today about boxes for sailors overseas. It came with a list of desired supplies that they are trying to collect as a classroom as well as this explanation “the boxes will be sent to sailors who do not receive any mail or packages otherwise”. How sad. How tragic that these wonderful people are fighting for our freedom and don’t even receive one letter of encouragement from back home. It sure is easy for me to forget this patriotic act, and I need to be better about that.

The paper said kids could also draw pictures or write letters of encouragement. Of course, we jumped all over this project. The kids each picked out two items from the grocery store (Sav chose a tide to go pen and a package of band aids, Jo chose a container of nuts and chap stick). I also had some items at home stocked up from couponing. Deodorant, tooth paste, tooth brushes, and lotions. Could we use these items? Of course, that’s why I’m stocked up. Could sailors overseas use them more? Well duh! Jo’s back pack is pretty heavy now, we sure filled it up lol! However, here is the point of this blog, their letter’s are so incredible I had to share.

Jo wrote “Thank you for fighting for our freedom. To me your job is really important. People like you are usually cool. Love Jo”.

Sav wrote “Dear Sailor, Thank you so much for fighting for the USA and all its people. I probably wouldn’t be writing this letter if it wasn’t for you and your comrades. Keep going! No matter what never think this was for nothing. We all depend on you as much as we depend on others as well as ourselves, for we are all family. Love Savannah Julia Overby”.

My kids are seriously amazing and continually make me proud. And like any mom, I think they are the best 🙂