I know it may seem boring, but I truly wish (sometimes) we all had the same set of rules when it comes to this game we call life. One person can say something, and another takes it and hears something different. Perspective plays a much larger role than I think people take into consideration, myself included. A tone, a hidden meaning, an assumption. It makes for a lot of complications. We all want to master the art of communication, but I don’t think it’s achievable. Communication, in some fashion, is actually subjective. When you mix in everyone’s personal filter that is shaped by maturity, beliefs, and life experiences, there’s no way to fully understand everyone. Not even if you narrow it down to just loved ones.
Here’s one word that holds so much meaning, yet is perceived so differently.
To one person friendship might mean showing up at their house unexpectedly with a bottle of wine and box of kleenex when you know they’ve had a hard time. Another person might hate that and therefore never do it leaving the other person to feel as though their friend doesn’t care.
Another person might feel like friendship is showing up to all the other person’s life events. Birthdays, celebrations for work, baby shower’s, etc, so they attend every single event you make an invite for, maybe even more. However, you might find that stuff silly and therefore you don’t go to all of theirs. Again, they’ll think you don’t care.
Friendship means so much to me, yet I struggle to show it. I never thought I did but after being told so on more than one occasion, my ears finally opened. Sometimes you have to look inward in order to grow, as hard as it can be. (I also SUCK at apologies, but I can tell you about that later.)
To me, friendship means giving someone space when they’re having a hard time but randomly through our friendship letting people know I do care and would be there if they asked in hopes that if someone needed me, they would ask. Cause I’d be there.
To me, friendship is helping a friend move. Even if this is the 5th or 6th time I’ve helped this same person move, and I have to get a sitter for my kids, and I seriously hate moving people. Hahaha! But I love her, and she needs help (she even reached out to friends and asked…not her strongest suit) so I’ll be there. But seriously my firework, stop moving please lol!
To me, friendship is getting interested in my other friend’s hobbies. Not only is that something we can then share together, it gives me more insight to them as a person. I’ve learned so much by having an open mind in this area of my life, I’m always excited for another piece of this puzzle.
To me, friendship is answering the phone when my friends call…70% of the time. But since that used to be, like, 20%, I’d say I’m on the right track. Do I still watch my phone ring and follow it with a text along the lines of “what’s up?”??? Possibly. But it’s rare and always for a justified reason (okay, maybe not always). I’ve even practiced calling my friends just to say hi. It’s a learning process but I’m happy to do it, cause I love my friends.
To me, the definition of friendship is different than yours. Whoever you are. Because we all define it differently. What we need to work on is accepting each other’s definition and allowing for growth and grace. What hurts me might not hurt you, and vice verse. Let’s let go of any animosity and just love each other.
Lately, I’ve been surrounded by incredible people I learn from, get inspired by, and truly feel the warmth of their friendship. Thank you.
To all my friends past, present, and future… thank you for bringing me this far in life. I’m shaped by each of you. Let’s keep the adventures coming!