When I first announced waiting for the Holiday’s to be over and moving forward with the divorce was a go, I was scared. I needed my bestie back. I needed her words of encouragement. She’s gone through it before, and as a bonus, she hated him too. It was hard to realize I would be going through this phase without her. I would have reached out but one thing stopped me. And just in case any of my old friends still read this, I’ll keep that thought to myself. I needed my mom, yet I wasn’t ready to have a relationship with her. She’d been through it too.
So I went for it, without my two biggest supporters in my past life, knowing deep down I would be fine. And guess what…I am.
I am ridiculously happy! I know what I want out of life. I’ve happily cut out people I don’t want in it. I’ve met incredible people. I’m almost always smiling. Savannah is getting better grades and laughing constantly. Jo is happy too. We are all so much better than we have been in a couple of years. I feel like my heart is full and finally put back together.
Sometimes I think about Brett and wonder how he’s holding up. Then I remember the reasons why I had to leave. Then I think about Jax. Then I hate Brett for not sharing him. Then I cry. I’ve honestly cried more over losing Jax than anything else these past few months. I guess that’s saying a lot.
I thought I would be a wreck for a long time. That I would move on and smile but part of me would be broken and hurting. Nope. Just a few sad moments here and there, then I remember how happy I am, and bam, just like that I’m smiling.
I lost a good friend recently. Well, cut ties with is more like it. There was a time she was one of my closest friends, but that ran its course as many friendships do. And that’s okay. We had some great times, more often than not. Memories were made to be cherished for a lifetime. I’ll always love her from afar. But I needed to close the door on that one and I feel better now that I did. I hope she’s doing okay too.
Jason. Where do I even begin? If ever two people were meant to know each other, it’s us. We compliment each other in a way I never knew existed. He recently asked Savannah and Jo (separately) for permission to ask me on a date. Of course they both said yes. Then he asked me out in front of them, it was so adorable. He has kept them in consideration every step of the way in the story of us. They are involved, included, and always feel loved. He’s there for them in a way no man ever has been. I look forward to the day we can walk hand in hand and feel their love around us, I think the kids are looking forward to it too 🙂
I’m moving soon. Living with Jason has been a dream. I think I’ll be making him a key before I even get my own lol! The place I’m moving is 3 bedrooms, big, spacious, has a yard area, pool, and a park. It’s a lovely townhouse and more than I could ever have dreamed to be able to call my own…well as long as I’m a good tenant I suppose lol. I’ve got about a month left here, I will enjoy every second of it. It will be terribly hard to leave, but I think Jason will enjoy having his garage back, not to mention the girls are looking forward to their own rooms. And did I mention there’s a pool?!?!
Lately my life is work, softball, walks outside, horseback riding (okay, that was the kids, but I got cute pics!), movie and pizza nights, endless cribbage, board games with friends, comedy, laughter, breathtaking sunsets, motorcycle riding (on the back of course lol), family, friends, and love. So much love in my life these days!
My life is exactly where I want it to be. I couldn’t be happier.