I am a runner, not the good kind. Not the kind of runner who wakes up at dawn and heads out to feel the wind welcome me in. No, I am the kind of runner who sees a tough task, an emotional hardship, and says, nah, not this time. Not always, but sometimes. And it’s easy. This is how I got the body I have now.
Once upon a time I liked exercise a lot more than I do now. I don’t know what happened. It just got too easy to quit.
I wondered to myself recently, what can be my motivation? What will drive me and hold me accountable? I have no friends to work out with. I can’t afford a trainer. Then it dawned on me-
I will blog it. That will hold me accountable.
So this is my vow to my followers (yes, all 3 of you). This is my vow to anyone who randomly stumbles across this page. This is my vow to my children who will someday ready this. I am going to bare it all. I am going to get personal and vulnerable. I am going to open my soul, my heart, and let go of my pride.
For 2 weeks.
I will track daily my food, and my exercise. I will track my accomplishments and my failures.
Here we go…….
It is Sunday evening. I weight 120 lbs on the dot. I want to be 110. I’d settle for 112.
I carry my weight in my midsection, I know, don’t we all?! But I hate it so much. I’m not proportioned enough for that. I’m a tiny person on a tiny frame. 10 extra pounds in my mid section shows immensely.
I need to lose 10 pounds and tone up. I want my too thin legs back. I don’t want to have to squeeze into my jeans. And I swear to all things higher and more powerful than myself, I would never eat a muffin again if I can lose this muffin that feels too permanent.
I don’t want to hear that I’m already skinny. I don’t want to hear that I look great. I don’t feel great. People, stop trying to make me feel better. It’s discouraging when you tell me such things. You are taking my feelings and telling me they aren’t real.
I hate my body. Let me deal with that. Support me on this adventure, or ignore it at least.
I look forward to this journey. Wish me luck 🙂