It’s been a long time. Obviously blogging isn’t something that consumes my time anymore. Why? I wonder about that too. Is it because I’m busy with more pressing priorities? Is it because I have other outlets for my randomness? Have I changed? Will I ever know why blogging doesn’t call to me like it once did?
What is new in my life now…. Uh, everything. Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic. But life is ever changing. For today, in this moment… I am 39. I am a National Account Manager at Vimly, a company that (for the most part) I’m super excited to be proud of. I say “like” and “literally” and “right?!” more than I wish I did. My kids are still the coolest ever (that will never change). And they get along, like amazingly (ugh, I said “like” again!). I’m continually scolded, by them, for having them so far apart as they want to be at college together. Sav is in college. Yeah, that happened. Jo just registered for high school, what?! Time is relative in parenting. It happens painfully slow and painfully fast at the same time. Got myself a boyfriend, and he’s the best. Been together about 1.5 years, going on infinity. He loves me in ways that pair well with how I want to be loved. That is an art. He comes along with 2 kids of his own, and I adore them. It’s messy and beautiful, which is basically my comfort zone in life.
Jo and I have a podcast. That’s right, my 14yo actually WANTS to hang out with me and create something great together. I win at life (so do you!).
My mom is still around, thank goodness. My biological dad is not. I will never have closure with that disaster and that’s it, that’s the closure. It’s just done. My parents make me a better parent, and I think that’s the circle of life for parenting. We take what we liked and pass it down (dinners together, game nights, a passion for reading) and we leave out what we didn’t like (ß that’s a long list). So yeah, it was rocky. My childhood wasn’t one to brag about, but my 2 most favorite people in the world benefit from that so I can’t complain, and I don’t.
I’m passionate about growth, feminism, parenting, and pushing boundaries. I push myself and those around me. Hell, I push strangers in online Facebook groups. I love to make people squirm in their own realities. News flash, saying “I’m not racist” doesn’t mean you aren’t racist.
So why am I here now, after all this time? Because I’m also passionate about giving my children a way to “reach” me when I am no longer here. So while these are just my rambles, I have a feeling they’ll be priceless someday. I saw the beauty of this recently when my boyfriend came across some writings from his dad who left this life way to early. So now, I see my blog now less of an outlet, but more of a legacy. Should I go through and clean it up? Probably. Will I? Nope. This is (was) me at that moment in time. I hope my kids hear my voice when they read my words. I love my kids. I live for my kids. There’s nothing in this galaxy that fills my heart as much as they do. I never want to leave them, but I know that day will come. I will miss them forever. If I have it my way, not only will I outlive them, but I will find them in our next lives and be together again.
And just so my kids have more to remember me by, here are some of my current/recent favorites:
All things Harry Potter (as if this is new information lol)
Feminist Fight Club
Anything written by Jodi Picoult (especially My Sister’s Keeper and Small Big Things)
Anything written by Fredrik Backman (especially Beartown and A Man Named Ove)
Dear Evan Hansen
Anything written by Liane Moriarty
Where’d You Go Bernadette
Anything written by Diane Chamberlain
Flowers for Algernon
Real Housewives of (insert city here, I love them all)
Game of Thrones
The Mindy Project
Parks & Rec
The Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise
Beat Bobby Flay
Orange is the New Black
The Umbrella Academy (although to be fair, I’m not even done with season 1, it could go downhill lol)
If We Had a Podcast
It’s Been a Minute
This American Life
Battle Tactics for your Sexist Workplace
This is Love
Ted Radio Hour
Well, I guess that’s it for today. April’s Fools Day. No pranks, but hopefully some laughter.