Welcome to my page.
Here you will find my blogs, my laughter, my tears.
Sometimes I write out of joy, sometimes out of frustration, and sometimes I can’t explain my writing even if I tried.
Feel free to leave your thoughts or let yourself be inspired. Life is too short to hold back.
Happy reading.
First, let me say, I love cruising. I have been on 1 and that’s it so my experience and advice is quite limited. It’s also based on the cruise ship line Royal Caribbean. However, if you are like me and wishing there was more information for the newbie, here you go in a lovely FAQ style!
Q: I paid for my trip upfront and I have a credit card on file. Do I need to bring cash?
A: Yes! Although the standard daily tipping will be applied against your credit card on file, there are other tipping times you’ll wish you had a few dollars to hand out such as tipping the person who helped you with your luggage or throwing a 5 spot at your favorite piano bar entertainer. Also, the daily tipping you are charged isn’t extended to anyone you’d like to tip on your excursion. We enjoyed a really incredible Mayan healing ritual led by a sharma and I would have liked to tip her more than the $5 I happened to have
Q: Where can I bring my drink? Do I have to finish it in the bar I ordered it?
A: Being on a cruise ship is similar to Vegas, you’ll see people all around with drinks in their hands. There are few exceptions to the rule, but typically you can bring your drinks anywhere with you. On the ship I was on, the only exception was the pool area. They requested no glass so we’d pound those glasses if needed, and order more from the pool bar. Those drinks came in thick plastic glasses and you didn’t need to finish them at the pool bar.
Q: When can I go to my room when I first board?
A: Although you will know your stateroom number before boarding the ship, you can’t enter until a designated time. If you find yourself on the ship before then, that’s a great opportunity to either walk around and familiarize yourself with your new temporary home, or go get a drink at any bar on the ship. They are ready and eager to serve!
Q: Will I get sea sick?
A: Possibly. Newer and larger ships are built in a way to reduce the sway, but that won’t guarantee you a seasick free cruise. In addition, the older and smaller ships aren’t as fortunate, so you will definitely feel the sway. If you are prone to seasickness or nervous about it, you may want to consider asking your doctor for an anti-nausea patch or boarding the ship equipped with motion sickness medication. For me personally, I thought I was safe. I don’t get seasick when boating and I don’t get motion sickness from riding in the backseat of cars or riding on roller coasters. But alas, my false confidence got me and I found myself begging for drugs a few days in. Luckily for me, Guest Services had me covered.
Q: What happens at ports?
A: Ports are quite the experience! I was ill-prepared as I assumed it was just like docking and walking around a town. Wrong! Most ports are now fashioned to be tourist destinations, and so much fun! When the ship allows, you’ll leave following very clear directions. Once you are off the ship, you are free to go have fun. Be sure to check the return time so you know when to head back so you aren’t left behind and paying for a flight to the next port so you can get back on the ship. Yeah, that’s a thing. Also, if you booked any excursions for the ports, you’ll learn where to meet up with your group and when. Excursions are a great way to experience something new and local to that port area, but aren’t required. I had just as much fun walking around Key West on my own.
Q: What should I bring that I might not have considered?
A: That’s a great question! Here’s the list from my perspective…
-Toilet water purifier. You may love your travel companion, but after all that food and booze, you may not want to smell their poo.
-Headphones. There’s a lot of stimuli happening on a cruise and you may need an hour of your favorite music to recharge.
-A bag to bring with you on excursions.
-A bag to bring home wet clothing in. Just in case.
-Makeup wipes. You’ll think you have what it takes to remove your makeup at the end of the night but you won’t. Don’t lie to yourself. Bring the wipes.
-Really good hand lotion. There is a lot of hand washing and hand sanitizing on a cruise ship and if you pair that with warm weather and evidential dehydration, your hands are going to be screaming for help.
-If you are sailing somewhere warm, bring more sunscreen than you need. You think that bottle of $15 sunscreen is a bit much, but you’ll need to double the cost on a cruise.
Q: Should I spring for the drink package?
A: I did a lot of research on this one. Most cruise lines have a drink package that includes water, juice, soda, coffee, and booze. If you drink only water, juice, and/or soda, get the package that includes unlimited amounts of those liquids. If you drink coffee and/or booze on top of that, get the top package. Not to mention, it’s just easier that way.
Q: How does the food situation work?
A: I was very confused about this myself. I saw restaurants on the cruise ship and before I even boarded I was receiving notices to book my reservations. I almost did but a dear friend thankfully cleared it up. For the ship we were on, there was a free buffet, a free restaurant which you could make reservations for or just show up and hope for the best, room service which only costs a small service charge, and a restaurant you pay to eat at. We opted for everything but the paid restaurant and my oh my, it was soooo good! The free restaurant was basically gourmet food. I couldn’t get enough. Even the buffet was tasty! You’ll get a lot of pressure to eat at the fancy restaurants but unless you feel compelled, don’t even bother. That food comes from the same folks cooking the free food. You are really just paying for bragging rights.
Q: What attire should I pack?
A: Definitely check out the weather ahead of time and pack accordingly. On top of that, be sure to check out the activities ahead of time and pack accordingly there too. If you are going to dance the night away, bring that favorite dancing outfit of yours! Bring more swimsuits than you think you’ll need (I brought 2 for a 6-day cruise and wish I had brought 4). Bring a wrap to easily go over your swimsuit so you can quickly go into the buffet if needed without concerning yourself with dressing. On top of that, there’s at least 1 formal night. While it’s no longer required to dress up for formal night, you will be the obvious oddball if you don’t. Plus, it’s fun to dress up and it almost feels disrespectful not to. On our cruise there were 2 (1 formal night, 1 dress up night), which isn’t uncommon. Some even have more than that. You may want to call ahead to see if they know how many formal/dress up nights there will be.
Q: What is it like to leave the cruise?
A: Really easy. You can elect to take your own bags off the cruise, or have them waiting for you outside of the cruise and you’ll pick them up from there. We opted for that. They put our bags in the wrong spot for picking them up, but it was still easy to find them. Then you get fully outside and there are taxi lines, shuttle lines, aggressive Uber/Lyft drivers, and confusion. But we grabbed and Uber and headed TF outta there!
Q: What else should I know?
A: I was really worried about feeling stuck on a boat but I never did. There’s so much to do, then you add in the ports and you quickly learn you won’t even get to do everything you want. It’s really surprising! The staff are incredible and I cannot wait to go on another cruise. However, as I write this there’s currently a global pandemic (I wish I was exaggerating) so I definitely won’t be on another cruise in 2020.
It’s been a long time. Obviously blogging isn’t something that consumes my time anymore. Why? I wonder about that too. Is it because I’m busy with more pressing priorities? Is it because I have other outlets for my randomness? Have I changed? Will I ever know why blogging doesn’t call to me like it once did?
What is new in my life now…. Uh, everything. Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic. But life is ever changing. For today, in this moment… I am 39. I am a National Account Manager at Vimly, a company that (for the most part) I’m super excited to be proud of. I say “like” and “literally” and “right?!” more than I wish I did. My kids are still the coolest ever (that will never change). And they get along, like amazingly (ugh, I said “like” again!). I’m continually scolded, by them, for having them so far apart as they want to be at college together. Sav is in college. Yeah, that happened. Jo just registered for high school, what?! Time is relative in parenting. It happens painfully slow and painfully fast at the same time. Got myself a boyfriend, and he’s the best. Been together about 1.5 years, going on infinity. He loves me in ways that pair well with how I want to be loved. That is an art. He comes along with 2 kids of his own, and I adore them. It’s messy and beautiful, which is basically my comfort zone in life.
Jo and I have a podcast. That’s right, my 14yo actually WANTS to hang out with me and create something great together. I win at life (so do you!).
My mom is still around, thank goodness. My biological dad is not. I will never have closure with that disaster and that’s it, that’s the closure. It’s just done. My parents make me a better parent, and I think that’s the circle of life for parenting. We take what we liked and pass it down (dinners together, game nights, a passion for reading) and we leave out what we didn’t like (ß that’s a long list). So yeah, it was rocky. My childhood wasn’t one to brag about, but my 2 most favorite people in the world benefit from that so I can’t complain, and I don’t.
I’m passionate about growth, feminism, parenting, and pushing boundaries. I push myself and those around me. Hell, I push strangers in online Facebook groups. I love to make people squirm in their own realities. News flash, saying “I’m not racist” doesn’t mean you aren’t racist.
So why am I here now, after all this time? Because I’m also passionate about giving my children a way to “reach” me when I am no longer here. So while these are just my rambles, I have a feeling they’ll be priceless someday. I saw the beauty of this recently when my boyfriend came across some writings from his dad who left this life way to early. So now, I see my blog now less of an outlet, but more of a legacy. Should I go through and clean it up? Probably. Will I? Nope. This is (was) me at that moment in time. I hope my kids hear my voice when they read my words. I love my kids. I live for my kids. There’s nothing in this galaxy that fills my heart as much as they do. I never want to leave them, but I know that day will come. I will miss them forever. If I have it my way, not only will I outlive them, but I will find them in our next lives and be together again.
And just so my kids have more to remember me by, here are some of my current/recent favorites:
Books
All things Harry Potter (as if this is new information lol)
Feminist Fight Club
Anything written by Jodi Picoult (especially My Sister’s Keeper and Small Big Things)
Anything written by Fredrik Backman (especially Beartown and A Man Named Ove)
Dear Evan Hansen
Anything written by Liane Moriarty
Ender’s Game
Where’d You Go Bernadette
The Passage
Anything written by Diane Chamberlain
Flowers for Algernon
Dark Matter
TV
Real Housewives of (insert city here, I love them all)
Game of Thrones
The Office
The Crown
Modern Family
Silicon Valley
Homeland
The Mindy Project
Parks & Rec
Vanderpump Rules
Survivor
The Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise
Beat Bobby Flay
Orange is the New Black
The Umbrella Academy (although to be fair, I’m not even done with season 1, it could go downhill lol)
Good Girls
Scandal
Podcasts
If We Had a Podcast
Criminal
Serial
Lore
Hidden Brain
It’s Been a Minute
This American Life
99% Invisible
Battle Tactics for your Sexist Workplace
Invisibilia
This is Love
Ted Radio Hour
S-Town
Well, I guess that’s it for today. April’s Fools Day. No pranks, but hopefully some laughter.
Today I heard a tale of woe about a woman who confided to her online mom’s group about “intrusive thoughts” she had about her baby. Intrusive meaning uninvited. We all have uninvited thoughts.
This woman did what most of us don’t have the courage to do, she spoke up. However, a mandated reported had to alert the authorities and now CPS is going to make its way to her house.
I don’t have an opinion on that. Facts and laws are facts and laws.
Here’s where my opinion is laying…. her bravery. Her courageous and beautifully bold bravery where she spoke of dark thoughts openly and publicly. All she wanted was advice. She wanted to know she wasn’t alone.
You aren’t alone.
I might not have the advice to give you, but I am inspired by you.
She doesn’t know me. I don’t know her. She will never read this. And that’s okay. The moral of this story, and so many like it, are you never know the impact you have on someone. You never know who is sitting at their kitchen table blogging about a stranger who she read about. It could be you.
So be great. Be bold. Be daring. Be truthful, painfully truthful. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Someone out there needs you to simply be you.
This is my yoga journey. Written and directed by yours truly.
I decided I wanted to embark upon a new journey. One that would bring me peace while engaging my stiff limbs. Yoga sounded perfect.
I am a quitter. I’d love to tell you I’m not, but I am. I once played Candy Crush. I made it through several levels before I couldn’t pass a level. I never played it again. I quit softball, ballet, violin, and several other hobbies. I don’t like conflict. I don’t like being pushed. Knowing this about myself, getting a yoga membership wasn’t going to be my strategy. I’d simply not go. Like gym memberships of the past. Instead, I needed a trainer. Someone who would come to my house and get me moving and motivated. They say (who is “they”? I don’t know either) it takes 3 weeks to form a habit. Great. I’m going for 4 weeks then.
My search began. I received many referrals to yoga instructors who would be willing to be a part of chapter 1 of my yoga story. I talked to several different people and each had a different story to tell of their own. Every message and call felt like a connection, I knew it would be a hard decision.
Then I found her. I found the one. Her name is Emily.
We decided on meeting at my house Monday-Thursday from 5:30-6am (which turned into 5:30-6:15am and I was 100% okay with that). Friday would be my day to practice on my own.
The weekend proceeding my first day I bought a yoga mat. Of course, I looked for an orange one and to my disappointment, I could not find one. At least not in my price range. I settled on bright turquoise.
Week one-
Day one: Here we go! I am so excited! I can do this. I’m going to make yoga my bitch.
Day two: I am so sore. Yoga is hard. People make it look easy. I currently hate those people.
Day three: Yup, still sore. I am inches away from touching my toes. Was I ever able to touch my toes? Curse you crooked spine.
Day four: I am incredibly sore, but I haven’t had a headache all week (I’m typically plagued with 2-3 a week). I’ve also felt a greater sense of strength and confidence. Is this really working? My digestive system seems to be working better as well. It can’t be this easy to rid myself of stomach pains and headaches, can it?
Day five: Here I go… all on my own… she wrote down what to do… I wonder if this pose is right? I’m losing focus quick… how do I do this again? Oh man, this sucks alone. I lasted maybe 10 minutes.
Week two-
Day one: This is getting a little bit more enjoyable, although I don’t think I’m any better than last week.
Day two: I think I really like yoga. I’m ready to take this on! I can pretty much conquer the world right now.
Day three: Tried new positions. Loved new positions. Yoga rocks!
Day four: I am ridiculously sore. Like, ouch. Yoga sucks. I hate yoga. In fact, I will continue on my 4 weeks and then never do yoga again. I hate yoga. Like, hate it. I can’t even begin to tell you how horrific it is. I cannot wait to be done.
Day five: I lasted alone 4 minutes. Maybe Jason should wake up early with me on Fridays for yoga. I still hate yoga and cannot wait to be done with it. I suck at it. I need a new hobby.
(over the weekend purchases- hot yoga towel, yoga clothes, sweat band, yoga block)
Week 3-
Day one: Did hot yoga instead for a change. Oh. Em. Gee. (more details below)
Day two: I am never going to be as good as anyone else. I can’t bend. My poses look horrible by comparison. Why does my body hate me? When I’m laying on my back I cannot even straighten out my legs high (think of an L shape). This is unfair and stupid. Yoga is stupid.
Day three: When will I get over this mental block of not being good enough? When will I accept my body for what it can do, instead of beating myself up for what it can’t do? This is far more mentally and emotionally challenging than I would have ever imagined. I want to give up, but I refuse to allow that to happen.
Day four: Today was good. I felt good. I felt powerful. This sure is a rollercoaster of emotions! Emily once told me, it’s not about touching my toes… it’s about my journey on the way down. She reminded me today that even 5 minutes of yoga a day is better than 5 minutes of sitting down. She reminded me that strength was more than being strong and muscular. I feel like I’m on the road I’ve been looking for.
Day five: Doing yoga alone is boring. I’m not to that point yet. I need a buddy system.
On Saturday I went to hot yoga again, except this time in the morning. I quickly learned I prefer it at night. I was wiped out all day and had a migraine. At least at night I can sleep through those hours of hell.
Week 4-
Day one: I am excited to do yoga. It feels like it’s all coming together. Finally. FINALLY!!!
Day two: I am nowhere near ready for this to end. I’m over the hump of starting, and I’m ready to keep going! Yoga feels great! I actually practice the breathing and mantra’s while I am work if I get stressed. I’m sad this is coming to a close. Practicing at 5:30am is really what works best for my schedule, yet I can’t get myself to do it alone. That’s one hump I can’t seem to get past. I need a neighbor/yoga buddy who also wants to practice yoga at 5:30am. That’s a rare, if not impossible, find. I might have to give that dream up.
Day three: Another great day! I even went to the gym on my lunch and worked on my arms so my planks are easier for me. I feel so motivated, I wish I could bottle the energy up!
Day four: I think I am too saddened by this month coming to a close to really pay attention. I wish this could be how I started out every day. Emily is an incredible teacher and I’ve come to really enjoy our time together and the peaceful energy that surrounds her. I’m starting to like yoga and now it’s ending. Today I said so long to my mornings with Emily, although we decided to still get together once a month or so to practice together. That gives me a little motivation to keep going since that holds me a bit accountable. This has been an incredible way to start each day and it’s a gift I’ll treasure for a long time.
Extras:
Hot yoga: I thought to myself, I can do this. I can do yoga in the heat. That’s all it is after all, right? Wrong. First, I had to drink water all day. I probably drank around 100 ounces. I was peeing every 30 minutes like I hadn’t peed all day long. I definitely depleted my body of important minerals and next time I’ll drink a couple sports drinks too and eat a banana (I did research, of course after the hot yoga). Many of the positions were familiar, but you have to balance in a new way because you are dripping wet with sweat. We aren’t talking about a good sweat that we’ve all had from time to time. We’re talking about you might as well be in the shower because you are drenched. I laid down a lot. I participated in probably 25% of the class. I am 100% okay with that. I’ll definitely try it again and I’d be interested in going once a week. My skin felt amazing the next day, my dead skin literally melted off (you could see and feeling it, EW!), and it was wonderfully detoxifying. However, my head was pounding afterward. Like, P-O-U-N-D-I-N-G! That’s how I knew I drank too much water. The headache is common and has been deemed the “hot yoga headache”. It might be awhile before my body can tolerate the hot yoga enough to not hurt my head, but I’ll get there, supposedly. I’d say the heat was the worst, but quite honestly it was the cold that came after. I left yoga hot and sweaty and about 15 minutes into the car ride my body temperature returned to normal, and the rest of me instantly realized I was wearing only a tank top and shorts while covered in cold sweat. I was instantly FREEZING!!! I came home shivering and quickly got into a ridiculously hot shower. I stayed in the shower far longer than I needed to. I thought I was never going to warm up. But I did.
Reading: Here is an article I love to circle back to as it keeps me grounded and in reality. Although, I seem to only read it when I don’t need it, of course.
http://breakingmuscle.com/yoga/its-called-yoga-practice-reason
Driving: I’ve realized that after classes I need to sit in my car for a few minutes before driving. I’m at such peace that my focus isn’t all there. It feels very surreal to be driving with my mind not all the way in focus. That can’t be safe.
Twist: I bought another yoga deal at another yoga studio to try out. At this point, I’ve gone to 2 classes. One was more about breathing and stretching and the other was very challenging for me. I benefited from both and I can see why people would go to different classes. There’s truly something to gain no matter what.
Encouragement: I had to leave this here…. There’s no way I could read it and delete it. Clearly, Jason read my blog while it was in progress as I was writing along the way, and decided to write as me (which was highly confusing at first because it kinda sorta sounded like me at the beginning but I didn’t remember writing it)
Week 4
Day one- I’ve been amazingly strong thru all of this. I have sacrificed sleep to do Yoga every single morning. Despite not being able to touch my toes I can honestly admit that I feel more energetic, that my digestion has been improved and my headaches are less frequent and more mild in nature. I can admit that I cannot do this alone and Emily has been a perfect trainer for me. I will continue to make this an important piece of my life as I want to live to be an active old lady… I love you and I’m so incredibly of you!
The end: That’s it. There you have it. My 4 week journey of yoga. It’s hard, especially for someone like me with perfectionist tendencies. I don’t know how to not beat myself up if I can’t do something right the first time. But alas, that subject is for another day. For now I will simply close this by reminding us all… Yoga is not about touching your toes, it’s about what you learn on the way down.
Namaste bitches.
So often I learn a life lesson from one of my children. Their take on the world, their innocence, and their fresh slate make their perceptions ones that I don’t have the ability to see. I know the cruelties of the world. I know the harshness of actions and mean people. I’m often bitter, judgmental, and prepared for the worst.
Because I’m 20+ years older than they are, I also think I have the answers.
Sometimes I am wrong.
Over a year ago I wrote a blog about my concerns regarding Savannah’s “friends”. The ones I’m referring to are friends she doesn’t know IRL <– (that’s In Real Life… yeah… I’m cool… I know the lingo).
Anyway, I couldn’t grasp the concept that she could feel connected to people she has never met. In my day (eek, did I really just say that?!) your friends were kids from your neighborhood, school, church, sports, and cousins. Sometimes even your cousin’s friends. You knew what each other looked like. You could pick one another out from a crowd. You knew their style of clothing, what their voice sounded like, and you hung out together in the same room.
Technology has changed that. Savannah meets more kids online than IRL. It’s easy to hop into a chat room type of place that is tailored for a passion. She can go online and meet kids who like Invader Zin within a couple minutes. IRL you’d have to actually dig this information out of another person. Technology has unfortunately also hindered this upcoming generation from these conversation skills. However, that’s a different rant for a different day. back on track we go!
This concept truly concerned me, mostly because I didn’t understand it. That idea is foreign to me. How in the world can you be friends with someone you don’t actually know.
Fast forward several months and now I ask you this. Does the word “know” (in this context) really equal “know in real life”? Or, is there something deeper here we could be missing?
Yesterday I attempted to gather my invite list that Jason asked me for in regards to my upcoming birthday (why does he make me celebrate?! Why do I let him? Hmm.). There are a couple people on that list that I have never met IRL. It dawned on me. Savannah was right. She knew at 10 something I didn’t learn until almost 35. Being in the same room doesn’t make you friends. A common ground does. An appreciation for the same humor. A shared interest. That’s what a connection is.
Thank you child of mine.
I’m beyond blessed to have children exploring this world in ways that are alien to me. They aren’t scared and they don’t do things based on my interest, experience, understandings, and values. They are their own individual personalities and they are out there making their way based upon their own gut, hopes, heart, and dreams. I’m even more thankful that I have my eyes open to the possibilities of all they have to teach me along the way. The journey is ours together and I couldn’t be more excited for it.
Bare Naked With My Thoughts 
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